Michelle Ryan, from the town over, was recently seen getting her fake tan and nails done just days before her first ever Adventure Race. The story broke when suspicions were raised by the village beautician, Lynda, just fresh back from Lanzarotte, thought it very usual for Michelle to be up to such “professional treatment”. “Michelle, yes I thought it strange, as she is not the most girly of girls and I originally thought it was a wind up when the booking was made. She once, darkened our doorway the morning of her sisters wedding where she begrudgingly got her eyebrows and mascara done. She told us to not bother with her legs as they were covered by the brides-made dress”.

Michelle, single, 34, was widely known for being a bit of a tom boy and would be happier with bike chain grease under her nails than painted varnish on them, reportedly let it slip, after a few to many IPO beers at the local IPO Beer Feast held in Matt Byrnes Bar.

“Ah look sure, if I’m snapped by the race photographer so be it, but it better not go up on Facebook”.

This has caused quite the stir among locals. Her best friend, Stephen said “For the average person, this wouldn’t raise an eyebrow, but it’s Michelle we are talking about here. I think she will be secretly looking to be snapped by the race photographers. She has always shied away from any sort of photos.

The Giggle: Satirical bullsh!t in a world gone mad! Warning! Very strong likelihood the above events never happened.