Dave Murray, from Athlone, was last night quoted as saying “I can still rock the sh!t out of this tri-suit”.  The middle aged mid lander and his overstretched and almost see-through onsey are now a regular sight at most west coast adventure races and has also been spotted at Tri-Athy among other triathlons and endless cycle sportifs down the years too.

“I bought it back in the day and it’s been a great servant to me over the years, I really feel the difference and it’s so stream line and aerodynamic, it really hugs every inch of the man I am”.

Dave, nicknamed “The M.A.M.I.L. (Middle Aged Man In Lycra)” by his nearest and dearest, laid claims to being the original pioneer in cutting edge sports performance and was one of the first in the country to don the stretchy skin-suit in Ireland all those years ago.

He said, “For some, it’s a lucky hat or wristband or shumetin along thems lines. Now, not for a second do I think I’m superstitious or anything like that, but I just couldn’t race without it. It’s like a companion more than anything else at this stage”.

The Giggle: Satirical bullshit in a world gone mad! Warning! Very strong likelihood the above events never happened.